1 00:00:03,930 --> 00:00:05,090 {\an1}SHE GASPS 2 00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:12,490 Ooh! 3 00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:13,890 {\an1}HOOT! 4 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,490 Argh! 5 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:21,010 Ah! No! Wah! 6 00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:28,090 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 7 00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:34,810 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 8 00:00:34,850 --> 00:00:39,290 It is the Series Eight Taskmaster Grand Final! 9 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,770 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 10 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:46,290 The wait is over. At the end of tonight's show, 11 00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:49,210 someone will take home THIS majestic trophy, 12 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,290 forged from the bones of Adonis, 13 00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:53,170 and go home a champion. 14 00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:55,770 But which of our battle-scarred five will it be? 15 00:00:55,810 --> 00:00:58,810 Please give them a hero's welcome for the final time... 16 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,690 Iain Stirling... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 17 00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:04,130 ..Joe Thomas... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 18 00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:06,650 ..Lou Sanders... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 19 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:09,290 ..Paul Sinha... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 20 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,250 ..and Sian Gibson... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 21 00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:16,730 And here, you know I love him really, 22 00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:20,850 it's - whoo! - little Alex Horne! 23 00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:23,490 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 24 00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:26,970 Oh, that's very... Do you genuinely? 25 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:28,530 No! No. 26 00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:30,810 Thank you. Well, today, Greg, 27 00:01:30,850 --> 00:01:33,130 I'm actually not going to do any talking - 28 00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,690 I'm just going to do this... 29 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,050 {\an1}LAUGHTER 30 00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:46,170 And I'm supposed to react to that now? 31 00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,930 You react however you want, Greg - I think you like it. Yes. 32 00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,850 Well, normally, I would have to try and find something funny 33 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,730 to say about that but, on this occasion, 34 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,730 I'm just going to do... 35 00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:57,690 this. 36 00:01:57,730 --> 00:01:59,650 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 37 00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:06,290 {\an1}LAUGHTER 38 00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,610 So... Good. We both look pretty. Thank you. 39 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,810 What have we got for the final Prize Task, Alex? 40 00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:13,210 They have to bring in the best thing 41 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:15,770 that will actually change your life for the better the most. 42 00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:18,890 So, you will judge who has brought in the thing 43 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,410 that will actually change your life for the better the most 44 00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,010 and give them 5 golden points for it. 45 00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:25,570 The winner of tonight's episode will take home all the things 46 00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:28,090 that will actually change your life for the better the most. 47 00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:31,530 And, hopefully, the things will actually change their life 48 00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:33,690 for the better the most. OK? LAUGHTER 49 00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:36,610 So, here we go. Lou Sanders. 50 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:39,090 How are you going to change my life for the better the most? 51 00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:43,370 Now, I don't think you're going to like this one, but... 52 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,970 it's an appointment with my spiritual healer, 53 00:02:47,010 --> 00:02:49,330 Jill in the Pyrenees. 54 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,570 And she's so magic, honestly, she can tap into people. 55 00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:55,850 I asked her about you, she said, "Yeah, great guy, real great guy." 56 00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:59,010 It is a gift voucher for Jill, a healer in the Pyrenees. 57 00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,210 You don't go to the Pyrenees. 58 00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:02,170 Because energy works through space and time, 59 00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:03,850 obviously - that's science. Yeah. Yes. 60 00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:06,250 Goes without saying. So...Jill lives in the Pyrenees, 61 00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,810 you just WhatsApp audio-call her. 62 00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:10,890 If it's helped you, I think that's wonderful. 63 00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:13,210 It really has. But Jill in the Pyrenees has already said 64 00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:14,930 that she thinks I'm a really great guy 65 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,650 so I probably don't need any healing. 66 00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:18,930 But it's for one of these idiots. LAUGHTER 67 00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:21,290 Iain, what have you brought to change my life? 68 00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:24,050 Oh, I've got the greatest invention I've ever come across, 69 00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:25,410 and that is a toilet stool. 70 00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:26,930 Here it is. 71 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:28,730 The squatty toilet stool. Yeah. 72 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:34,290 Oh, I see. As human beings, we're meant to squat when we poo, you see, 73 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,290 because that opens the colon up. 74 00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:39,650 Yes, it does. When you sit at a 90-degree angle... 75 00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:43,130 Yes, yes, it does. It does, yeah. 76 00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:45,570 And Alex will also tell you, when you sit at 90 degrees, 77 00:03:45,610 --> 00:03:47,090 your colon is kinked. 78 00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:49,850 Well, it doesn't allow your body to come out of continence mode 79 00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:53,370 and go into elimination mode. Exactly. 80 00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:57,090 Wait till you get your knees up - you will eliminate that next shit. 81 00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:59,650 We'll talk more about this afterwards. Yeah. OK. 82 00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,090 Paul. 83 00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,970 I went shopping for my mum on Oxford Street at Christmas, 84 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,610 and I found this item. 85 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,130 And it's so good that I bought it for my mum, 86 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:10,130 presented it to her at Christmas 87 00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,650 and, on Boxing Day, went around and stole it. 88 00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:17,210 It's basically an electronic massage pad 89 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,250 and it absolutely improves your life. 90 00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:22,370 Cos when you get to my age, you're sore after doing anything, 91 00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,850 after having a poo. 92 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,650 If you don't believe how good it is, 93 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:29,010 Alex is going to demonstrate it on you now. 94 00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:30,770 Yes, I do have it here. What?! 95 00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:33,770 Yes. There it is. OK. Do you want to see it in action? 96 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:36,210 Ooh, ho-ho-ho! LAUGHTER 97 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:39,090 The great thing about it is that it works on any part of your body. 98 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:42,170 Oh, put it on your bowels. Yeah. 99 00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,650 Where are your bowels? Oh, yeah. 100 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,970 {\an1}LAUGHTER 101 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,490 Really nice, Paul. 102 00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:56,250 Sian, are you going to relax my colon or make me poo? 103 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,530 Funnily enough, yes. 104 00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:01,010 I've brought some pills. 105 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:04,170 And these aren't just any pills, 106 00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:07,650 these are actually called Miracle Pills. 107 00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,970 OK. I've tried them. 108 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,730 You can eat anything you want when you've eaten one of these pills 109 00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:16,130 and it will taste really sweet 110 00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:18,690 and like the nicest thing you've ever ate. It's true. 111 00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:20,370 I literally ate four lemons. 112 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,730 Yeah? Tasted amazing. 113 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:24,010 Really? They activate the sweet receptors, 114 00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:25,890 resulting in the perception of sweet taste. 115 00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:29,930 'They do work. They had to physically take the lemons off me in case I had a prolapse or something. 116 00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:32,610 What if I want to eat a lovely Sunday roast? I don't know. 117 00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:38,370 But I had a massive poo after these. After them? Yeah. 118 00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:41,290 Have you ever swapped a cow for some magic beans? 119 00:05:41,330 --> 00:05:44,570 Joe? It's a hair transplant. 120 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,050 Yeah, there we go. 121 00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:48,530 I should say it's singular. 122 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,610 Um... 123 00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:54,490 Have you paid for one hair to be transplanted? I've loaded one hair. 124 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,410 Yeah, I've loaded one hair onto the voucher. 125 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,010 {\an1}LOU LAUGHS 126 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:00,650 Expensive, aren't they? 127 00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:03,010 Well, it's normally about 15 grand for a full head of hair, 128 00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,610 so what have you put in there? 129 00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:07,890 It's 100 quid. That sort of appeals to me. Yeah. 130 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:11,090 Tell you what I want, is I want to be able to say at a dinner party, 131 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:14,210 "I've had a hair transplant." Yeah. And for them to go, "Really?" 132 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:17,050 And I'll go, "Yes, but only THIS hair here." 133 00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:22,450 'Points, then, Greg. It's a final, so I'm not going to give anyone 1 point - so that's good, isn't it? 134 00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:25,370 That is good, yes. Are you going to give anyone 2 points? Yes. 135 00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,290 Just imagining I'm eating a lemon now. 136 00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:29,610 {\an1}LAUGHTER 137 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,890 What does it taste like? 138 00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:33,170 Yeah, sweet. 139 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,770 2 points. 140 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,410 2 points to Sian. 141 00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:38,490 3 points to the back-massager. 142 00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:40,650 It was really nice, I really enjoyed it, 143 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:42,250 but, honestly, I've got one. OK. 144 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:46,410 3 points also to Jill in the Pyrenees. OK. 145 00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:48,410 I mean, unbelievably... 146 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:52,570 the notion of having one hair transplanted gets 4 points. 147 00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,010 Eh! I just want it. 148 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:56,890 And 5 points - who doesn't like a lovely clear-out? 149 00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,410 5 points to Iain Stirling! 150 00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:00,170 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 151 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,850 Right, what have we got to start the final? 152 00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:08,090 Well, if they do the task correctly, absolutely nothing. 153 00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:22,170 Hiya, mate. Hello, Lou. 154 00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:23,850 'Hiya. You all right? 155 00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:25,290 'Yes. Good stuff. 156 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,450 'An eraser, no less. 157 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,570 This is suspicious. 158 00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:31,610 Little rubber. I used to collect rubbers. 159 00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:32,650 Why? 160 00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:36,170 It was before I had, erm, an iPhone. 161 00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:38,290 Oh. One or the other, isn't it? 162 00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:41,330 Here we go. 163 00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:43,090 Completely erase this eraser. 164 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,370 The fastest wins. 165 00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:47,490 Your time starts... 166 00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:49,890 Hold on, I'm just thinking. 167 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,850 I can see that. 168 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,450 Your time starts...now. 169 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,250 {\an1}APPLAUSE 170 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,130 No hesitation whatsoever. 171 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,770 No. Because you're a rubber specialist. 172 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,090 That's what they do. 173 00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,570 What has become of the rubber collection? 174 00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:10,250 It's still there, it's in a Quality Street tin. 175 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,650 Where? 176 00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:13,250 At my mum's house! 177 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:18,010 LAUGHTER She told me she's got 250. 178 00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:20,050 I've never used them to actually rub. 179 00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:22,730 No. No, God, that would soil them - we all know what. 180 00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:26,330 Let's see some erasing. 181 00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,810 OK, first to rub out the rubber are - 182 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:30,690 and there's no easy way to say this - Joe and Sian. 183 00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:44,730 'Well, I've made two, and a load of little ones. 184 00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:46,690 Oh, my God... 185 00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,610 'I'm going to sweat on here! 186 00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:51,650 {\an8}I'm going to go and, erm, have a little root around, 187 00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:53,410 {\an8}see if I can find...something. 188 00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:55,810 Erm... 189 00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:58,930 'Right, here we go. 190 00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:01,930 That's a bit more like it, isn't it? 191 00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,650 Stand back, everyone. 192 00:09:08,810 --> 00:09:09,970 Here we go! 193 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:12,330 {\an1}SHE SHRIEKS 194 00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:24,370 That's not even done anything, that. 195 00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,650 No, it's still there, isn't it? 196 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,530 {\an1}LAUGHTER 197 00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:39,370 I've erased it. It's gone, is it? Yep. 198 00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:49,050 Has it gone? It's all gone. It's gone. Completely gone. 199 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,370 {\an8}No sign of it? 200 00:09:50,410 --> 00:09:54,770 {\an8}I can't see it anywhere, no. 201 00:09:57,090 --> 00:09:59,130 {\an1}APPLAUSE 202 00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:05,290 I mean, unbelievably I really found myself admiring your technique. 203 00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,770 I really thought, "Yeah, that's good thinking, that, 204 00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:11,210 "getting some sandpaper - that'll speed up the erasing process." Yes. 205 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,370 Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. 206 00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:14,930 Obviously you used the classic old-school... 207 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,330 Rubbing? ..eraser technique. 208 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,810 Bored of it and tried to eviscerate it with fire. 209 00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:21,130 I thought it actually would burn. 210 00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:22,610 No, it didn't burn. 211 00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:26,890 I know it didn't work, because Sian threw her rubber in a hedge. Yes. 212 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,730 She took 9 minutes and 40 seconds. 213 00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:31,410 We did search for the eraser afterwards, couldn't find it - 214 00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,450 so, it's gone. 215 00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:35,770 Come on - it's not been erased, it's been chucked in a hedge. 216 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:39,090 Joe took the same amount of time it takes me to fully clean you - 217 00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:41,490 19 minutes 32 seconds. 218 00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,490 Quite a while. Let's see another one. 219 00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:46,850 Yes, next up, two fellas. 220 00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:49,410 An ITV1-er and an ITV2-er. 221 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:51,330 It's Paul and Iain. 222 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:53,290 'Completely erase this erase. 223 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:55,130 Your time starts...now. 224 00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:07,250 You tell me when it's completely erased. 225 00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:08,810 I don't know if this will help. 226 00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:17,250 {\an1}TOILET FLUSHES 227 00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:20,250 {\an1}TOILET FLUSHES 228 00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:24,410 Done! Completely erased? 229 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,450 Yeah. 230 00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:26,930 Is it completely erased, Paul? 231 00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:29,930 It is. I'm glad I didn't eat it. 232 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:34,450 {\an1}APPLAUSE 233 00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:39,770 Are you, Paul, under the impression that you erased that eraser? 234 00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,610 I removed it from society. 235 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,250 {\an1}LAUGHTER 236 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,170 It's probably still an eraser, isn't it? 237 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:47,370 It's been erased. I'm not sure that is erased. 238 00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:50,010 I mean, you could see yours in a mush by your feet! 239 00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:52,570 Yeah, but it could no longer function as an eraser. 240 00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:53,970 It was no longer an eraser. 241 00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:55,690 Mine is underwater in a pipe! 242 00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:58,050 But it's still an eraser. It's not... It's not! 243 00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,210 It's lost its function. 244 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,450 At this point... No-one's going to use that as an eraser again. 245 00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:04,490 But if they really, really wanted to, 246 00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:07,450 they could find it and it would still be intact as an eraser. 247 00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:10,130 And also, I think that erasing is the act of using it to rub. 248 00:12:10,170 --> 00:12:12,250 Where the fuck has this come from?! 249 00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:13,850 I don't know. 250 00:12:13,890 --> 00:12:16,410 I'm so fed up of putting in, like, 251 00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:19,610 loads and loads of genuinely physical effort into the task 252 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:22,650 and then these other people find some wanky workaround. 253 00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,090 Put some fucking effort in! 254 00:12:27,770 --> 00:12:32,010 'I don't know where that's come from - I'm really sorry. I've been really nice so far. 255 00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:34,770 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 256 00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:44,610 Let's just let all the rage simmer a bit. 257 00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:47,290 Hello, and welcome to the end of Part One. 258 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:48,490 Goodbye. 259 00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:49,730 {\an1}CHEERING 260 00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:01,890 Hello! 261 00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:06,010 Welcome back to the Taskmaster Series Eight Grand Final. 262 00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:08,130 It's Part Two, and it's exciting. 263 00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:11,490 So, to reflect this, Alex, can you please shout your recap 264 00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:13,570 at the very top of your lungs! 265 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,410 HE TALKS LOUDLY: They are trying to erase an eraser 266 00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:18,810 as fast as possible! 267 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:19,850 Louder! 268 00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:22,410 And Iain and Paul flushed it! 269 00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:23,810 More! 270 00:13:23,850 --> 00:13:26,370 HE SHOUTS: Sian chucked it in a bush! Actually shout! 271 00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,770 JOE MADE A MESS! 272 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:32,130 AND WHO'S NEXT? LOU SANDERS! 273 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:35,650 You genuinely shout like a little old man. 274 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,810 {\an1}LAUGHTER 275 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,530 Why is there no volume? 276 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:41,610 I'm sorry, I did my best. 277 00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,690 Get away from my lawn, you two! 278 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:49,130 Before we debate erasing any more, let's have a look at Lou's, can we? 279 00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,370 Yes. Here's Lou's. 280 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,970 Fastest wins. Your time starts now. 281 00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,170 Yeah? 282 00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:01,810 Is this the sort of thing...? 283 00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:04,930 Oh... 284 00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:09,650 'It's taking longer than I thought. 285 00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,690 'Can I get a drink, please? 286 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,970 Yeah, what would you like? Oh, it tastes horrible! 287 00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,570 Water and a juice, please. 288 00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,810 Finished! Oh! 289 00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:20,850 OK. 290 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,530 Well done, I've stopped the clock. 291 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:26,890 Where is it? 292 00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:29,330 Anything else, Lou? 293 00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,730 Anything else? I can still see some of it. 294 00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,170 Oh! 295 00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:36,450 It's not completely erased, I'm afraid, Lou. 296 00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:41,250 It didn't taste very nice! 297 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,370 {\an1}TOILET FLUSHES 298 00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:48,690 Where's it gone? 299 00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:50,850 Down the toilet. I'll stop the clock. 300 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,410 {\an1}APPLAUSE 301 00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,210 If she'd eaten it, would you have accepted it? 302 00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:59,490 I think she changed its form. Yeah. 303 00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,530 All she did was put it into a sewage system. 304 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:05,090 I changed its form. No, but it's been digested, broken down, 305 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:08,530 'there's no way you could get those bits out and still use it as a rubber. Thank you. 306 00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:12,130 'So, just so you know, it ended up in the toilet in the hands of three of them. 307 00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:14,090 Lou took 2 minutes 50 seconds. 308 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,410 34 seconds by Paul, 20 seconds by Iain. 309 00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:18,290 Well, this is unprecedented, 310 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,730 what I'm about to do. 311 00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:23,290 The first points I will award according to the times. 312 00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:27,370 OK, so it'll be only 1 point to Joe, 2 to Sian, 3 to Lou, 313 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,450 4 to Paul, 5 to Iain. 314 00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:33,130 Correct. But then I'm going to give Lou 1 bonus point 315 00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:35,330 for chewing up a rubber like a mad person, 316 00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:38,850 but I'm going to give Joe a bonus of 3 points. 317 00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:40,370 Thank you. Yes. 318 00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:42,130 Joe gets 4 points! 319 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:44,130 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 320 00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,850 Do you have another one ready? 321 00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:47,410 I do - and this one has legs. 322 00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,170 Ow! 323 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:10,610 "Make yourself some tremendous pretend legs." 324 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:14,610 "You have five minutes to order up to five items from Alex." 325 00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:16,530 "Once Alex has shopped for the items, 326 00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:20,090 "you will have 20 minutes to make your tremendous legs 327 00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:21,810 "and then demonstrate them." 328 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:25,570 "Most tremendous pretend legs wins." 329 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:29,530 "Your time starts...now." 330 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:32,090 Massive trousers. 331 00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:33,890 Some green face-paint. 332 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:36,450 Maybe I should try and make some sort of hinge. 333 00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:38,690 Some sexy stockings. 334 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,330 Some stripy tights. 335 00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,610 Red and black? Purple and black. 336 00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:45,250 Sorry. Two child-sized snooker cues. 337 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,090 Fireworks. Oh, there we go. 338 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:49,170 WHISTLE Great, thanks a lot. 339 00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:51,610 Thanks, Joe. Cheers. Bye. Bye-bye. 340 00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,850 {\an1}APPLAUSE 341 00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:56,490 The most tremendous legs, right? Yes, the most tremendous legs. 342 00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,690 Great in amount, scale or intensity - tremendous. 343 00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:01,210 Good. So, here we go - this is Joe and Paul. 344 00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,090 I've never made anything with hinges before. 345 00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:06,570 Oh, Christ. 346 00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:10,250 Here we go. 347 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,370 What am I doing? 348 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,650 Shit! 349 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:31,650 Come on. 350 00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:32,730 Fuck! Come on. 351 00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:33,770 Fuck you! 352 00:17:33,810 --> 00:17:35,090 Way! 353 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,650 Hello, Alex. You doing OK? 354 00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:41,970 I'm fine, thank you, Joe. You look...tired. 355 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,530 Never felt better. 356 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,930 Why? 357 00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:49,250 These little mothers down here. 358 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,570 Two tremendous legs. 359 00:17:50,610 --> 00:17:52,250 Are they finished, Paul? 360 00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:54,010 Erm, I might take them outside. 361 00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:02,650 Ironically, I think the mistake I made 362 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,530 was not going for an adult snooker cue. 363 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,770 They're quite small, aren't they? 364 00:18:06,810 --> 00:18:08,010 Nonetheless... 365 00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:11,450 Oh! 366 00:18:12,810 --> 00:18:16,010 And I walk out to enjoy my evening out. 367 00:18:17,490 --> 00:18:19,690 And is it possible for you to stand? Stand? 368 00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:21,610 At the moment it's been kind of... 369 00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:23,930 On tiptoes is it? Erm... 370 00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:26,290 Oh... 371 00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,450 Whoa, OK! 372 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,450 {\an1}LAUGHTER 373 00:18:37,810 --> 00:18:38,890 He's done it! 374 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:42,050 And you can see that even when disaster does strike, 375 00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:44,570 the leg fits straight back on. 376 00:18:44,610 --> 00:18:47,130 {\an1}HE PANTS 377 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:49,770 Thank you, Paul. Thank you. Well done. 378 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,610 Thank you, Joe. Cheers. 379 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:57,010 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 380 00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:04,290 I hated that. 381 00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,690 I hated every fucking second of that. 382 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,570 I asked for hinges and then didn't use them to make the knee, 383 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:11,650 I just used them to... Well... 384 00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:13,010 Well, you asked for hinges 385 00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:15,410 and then you were so frenetic, there was so much activity. 386 00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:18,050 It was like an episode of The A-Team for our older fans. 387 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:22,010 It was incredible, there was so much industry going on, and then... 388 00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:25,010 I mean, the legs were so rubbish 389 00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:27,330 and then you really hurt yourself. 390 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:30,450 Yeah. No, I really genuinely felt quite sad that day 391 00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:32,130 after going home and having done that, 392 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:34,970 because I really thought I should be able to do a bit better than that. 393 00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:38,010 I think all of us who were there felt sad - and angry as well. 394 00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,450 Yeah, yeah. 395 00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:41,570 So far away from tremendous. 396 00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:45,850 Paul, any regrets about choosing child-sized snooker...? 397 00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:48,170 I read the task and I thought to myself, 398 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:51,610 "I am not going to come out of this task with any dignity whatsoever". 399 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:54,850 I'm dyspraxic, I'm virtually colour-blind, 400 00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:58,610 I've got an injured shoulder and, more than that, 401 00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:01,570 I am an absolute dickhead. 402 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,890 That's not fair, you're not a dickhead. 403 00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:07,650 They looked more like legs than Joe's did, they were functional, 404 00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:10,610 they were able to very slowly kick a football. 405 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:14,330 I mean, it's an image that will haunt me for some time, which is good. 406 00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:16,450 Shall we see someone else? Yeah! 407 00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:19,650 OK. One of her shopping requests was spaghetti - 408 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:20,770 it's Lou Sanders. 409 00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:22,650 Wow. 410 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,130 Yeah? Yeah. 411 00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,370 OK, get ready. 412 00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:32,010 OK. 413 00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:39,090 {\an1}LOU LAUGHS 414 00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,130 Tremendous. 415 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,730 {\an1}APPLAUSE 416 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:59,890 They were more tremendous than what we've seen thus far, I think. 417 00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:01,810 Fair to say. They were legs. 418 00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:05,850 They were slightly more tremendous than the pool cues, sorry. 419 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,690 I think Paul's point is she didn't make the legs - 420 00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,010 she improved pre-existing legs. 421 00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:14,050 But you... What was the task again? 422 00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:16,450 Make... Make some tremendous legs. 423 00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:19,730 Yeah, I made some normal legs tremendous. Tremendous. 424 00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:21,210 They did look quite tremendous 425 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:23,610 and it was surprising to see them up there. 426 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,570 Yeah, thank you. 427 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:27,650 It'd raise an eyebrow. 428 00:21:27,690 --> 00:21:31,010 They were the most tremendous legs I've seen thus far. 429 00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:33,330 Look, we're halfway through the final. 430 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:36,210 Not only will someone win the Taskmaster trophy, 431 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:39,770 but someone will also go home with a squatting toilet stool - 432 00:21:39,810 --> 00:21:41,770 win-win! Bye-bye. 433 00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:44,610 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 434 00:21:52,650 --> 00:21:53,970 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 435 00:21:54,010 --> 00:21:56,010 Hello. 436 00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:59,490 Welcome back to the start of Part Three, here in the Taskmaster Final. 437 00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:00,530 Where were we, Alex? 438 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,690 Legs is where we were, and where we still are. 439 00:22:02,730 --> 00:22:04,090 Legs. So far we've discovered 440 00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:07,450 that Paul Sinha thinks the most tremendous legs imaginable 441 00:22:07,490 --> 00:22:10,810 are a smaller, less mobile version of his own. 442 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,730 Now for Sian, with a slightly higher production-value version. 443 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:17,850 Here we go. 444 00:22:17,890 --> 00:22:20,530 {\an1}DRAMATIC MUSIC 445 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:26,490 {\an1}GLASS SMASHES 446 00:22:39,890 --> 00:22:43,450 SHE SHRIEKS I'm melting, I'm melting! 447 00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,570 {\an1}SHE SHRIEKS 448 00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:53,130 Argh, I'm melting, I'm melting! 449 00:22:58,890 --> 00:23:01,810 {\an1}APPLAUSE 450 00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:06,090 I think mine was better. 451 00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:12,010 Oh, man. The production. The whole concept was wonderful. 452 00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:13,610 I loved your tremendous legs. 453 00:23:13,650 --> 00:23:16,210 I'm going to hand out points pretty quickly. 454 00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,330 After seeing Iain's... Iain. 455 00:23:18,370 --> 00:23:20,570 {\an1}LAUGHTER 456 00:23:22,090 --> 00:23:26,010 So, erm... Ugh! How's your day been? 457 00:23:26,050 --> 00:23:27,490 Good, thank you. 458 00:23:27,530 --> 00:23:29,490 'Anything interest...ing? 459 00:23:31,050 --> 00:23:32,210 Your ankle. 460 00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:35,650 What about your ankle? Argh, argh! 461 00:23:35,690 --> 00:23:37,530 Argh! 462 00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:41,890 I've broken both my ankles! 463 00:23:41,930 --> 00:23:43,450 I like your new shoes. 464 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:46,570 Thank you very much. They're, erm, from... 465 00:23:54,490 --> 00:23:55,970 D'you ever do that? 466 00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:57,890 Oh, my back! 467 00:23:57,930 --> 00:23:59,050 My back. 468 00:24:01,010 --> 00:24:03,370 We're off to the caravan. 469 00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:05,810 {\an1}APPLAUSE 470 00:24:05,850 --> 00:24:07,330 Why...? 471 00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:10,850 Why did you hamper yourself with fake arms? 472 00:24:10,890 --> 00:24:12,850 I got carried away. 473 00:24:12,890 --> 00:24:14,730 The thing about this show... 474 00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:17,490 You don't see it from another person's point of view. 475 00:24:17,530 --> 00:24:20,530 I was convinced I'd won this task! 476 00:24:20,570 --> 00:24:22,210 {\an1}LAUGHTER 477 00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:25,970 I'm barefooted, stood on stainless steel, 478 00:24:26,010 --> 00:24:30,890 with my hands zipped into my body... Yeah. 479 00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:34,290 ..and then I gaffer-taped a mannequin hand onto each side. 480 00:24:34,330 --> 00:24:36,690 They were both left hands. 481 00:24:38,330 --> 00:24:39,850 I barely noticed. 482 00:24:39,890 --> 00:24:42,370 I know - I put gloves on them so you wouldn't! 483 00:24:44,330 --> 00:24:46,130 By the point I was doing that, 484 00:24:46,170 --> 00:24:48,210 the legs had really become an afterthought. 485 00:24:49,730 --> 00:24:53,690 'As a character, you look like a pretty cool guy to hang out with. We had a lovely time. 486 00:24:53,730 --> 00:24:56,570 You were having a lovely old sway. Lovely slow sway. Yeah. 487 00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:59,010 I'm going to score it really quickly. Are you? Yeah. 488 00:24:59,050 --> 00:25:00,770 Guess who's in last? Me. 489 00:25:00,810 --> 00:25:03,410 1 point for Joe. Thank you. 490 00:25:03,450 --> 00:25:06,010 I want to give this 100 bonus points, 491 00:25:06,050 --> 00:25:10,290 but if I mark them as just tremendous legs, 492 00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:13,930 unfortunately I have to give the children's snooker cue... 493 00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:17,410 Unfortunately I have to give them 2 points. 494 00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:19,610 I mean, he's done well to get 2 there. 2 points to Paul. 495 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:22,290 He's done really well. Unbelievable. I want to hang out with him, 496 00:25:22,330 --> 00:25:25,090 but I don't think his legs are that tremendous. 497 00:25:25,130 --> 00:25:28,610 But I will give clumpy, sway-ey, clumsy man 3 points. 498 00:25:28,650 --> 00:25:29,970 3 points to Iain. 499 00:25:30,010 --> 00:25:32,890 Obviously I want to roller-skate on top of a caravan for one foot. 500 00:25:32,930 --> 00:25:35,090 Louie... Lou gets 4 points. 501 00:25:35,130 --> 00:25:37,770 Louie-Lou - 4 points. I mean, who can deny the production 502 00:25:37,810 --> 00:25:39,930 of Sian Gibson - 5 points? 503 00:25:39,970 --> 00:25:43,610 That was great. CHEERING 504 00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,570 Oh, dear me! 505 00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:49,210 Ha-ha-ha-ha! Little scoreboard update, please. 506 00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:52,730 OK, it's tight at the bottom, as... 507 00:25:52,770 --> 00:25:56,810 Mummy used to say... LAUGHTER 508 00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:01,890 It's a three-way tie at the bottom. 509 00:26:01,930 --> 00:26:03,810 Joe, Paul and Sian all have 9, then Lou has 11 510 00:26:03,850 --> 00:26:07,090 but, in the lead with 13 points, it's Iain Stirling. 511 00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:09,490 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 512 00:26:10,890 --> 00:26:13,130 Please can we have one more - just one more. 513 00:26:13,170 --> 00:26:14,770 I have exactly one more task. 514 00:26:14,810 --> 00:26:17,370 The last video task of the series, I'm afraid. 515 00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:21,330 But it does involve some very dangerous parking and a bobble hat. 516 00:26:35,650 --> 00:26:38,370 It's a long way. Pardon? 517 00:26:38,410 --> 00:26:40,650 It's a long way. 518 00:26:40,690 --> 00:26:42,250 Yes. I'm not very good at running. 519 00:26:42,290 --> 00:26:44,090 You don't have to run. 520 00:26:45,810 --> 00:26:47,010 Have a little looky. 521 00:26:47,050 --> 00:26:49,330 "Follow the instructions on the signs 522 00:26:49,370 --> 00:26:51,730 "and park this buggy in the parking bay." 523 00:26:53,410 --> 00:26:56,010 "You have a maximum of ten minutes to prepare your journey, 524 00:26:56,050 --> 00:26:59,650 "during which you may not move any of the items on the course." 525 00:27:00,770 --> 00:27:04,330 "Your journey must start from where the buggy is now." 526 00:27:04,370 --> 00:27:07,690 That's going to be easy, no? 527 00:27:07,730 --> 00:27:11,170 "Also, you must be wearing this blindfold correctly 528 00:27:11,210 --> 00:27:13,330 "at all times during your journey." 529 00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:14,970 Ah... ah! 530 00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:16,370 Ah. 531 00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:18,370 "Most accurate journey wins. 532 00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:21,210 "Your preparation time starts now." 533 00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,850 What?! 534 00:27:22,890 --> 00:27:25,890 Right, so let's have a look at these instructions. 535 00:27:25,930 --> 00:27:28,530 "Do knock these bells off. 536 00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,210 "High-five him." 537 00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:31,890 "Do NOT knock these bells off." 538 00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:37,890 "So I've got to drive that blindfolded and do them things?" 539 00:27:37,930 --> 00:27:39,170 Yes, please. 540 00:27:39,210 --> 00:27:40,810 Good luck. 541 00:27:40,850 --> 00:27:43,290 LOU: I'm just going to have a little go on this. 542 00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:44,370 Whoo! 543 00:27:51,610 --> 00:27:53,490 Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! 544 00:27:53,530 --> 00:27:54,610 Jesus. 545 00:27:56,930 --> 00:28:02,090 Absolute carnage from you before the blindfold's gone on. 546 00:28:02,130 --> 00:28:05,530 And you know how I knew that was genuine panic? 547 00:28:05,570 --> 00:28:08,290 Because the old-man voice came out. 548 00:28:08,330 --> 00:28:10,290 "Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul!" 549 00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:13,090 "It's my bloody garden again!" 550 00:28:13,130 --> 00:28:16,050 I can't wait to see this. 551 00:28:16,090 --> 00:28:18,090 We've grouped these two together already today, 552 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:20,690 but now it's their last chance to truly prove themselves, 553 00:28:20,730 --> 00:28:23,250 it's Joe and Paul again. 554 00:28:23,290 --> 00:28:24,770 Here we go. 555 00:28:24,810 --> 00:28:27,730 OK. You've got eight more minutes to prepare. 556 00:28:27,770 --> 00:28:29,490 Oh, eight more to prepare? OK. 557 00:28:30,690 --> 00:28:32,930 Erm... 558 00:28:34,450 --> 00:28:36,250 I'm going to administer the blindfold system. OK. 559 00:28:36,290 --> 00:28:38,170 Layer one. Wow. 560 00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:40,650 Can you see anything, Paul? No. 561 00:28:40,690 --> 00:28:42,690 Good luck! Thank you. 562 00:28:42,730 --> 00:28:43,970 I'm going to go. 563 00:28:44,010 --> 00:28:46,210 {\an1}BEEP-BEEP! 564 00:29:01,010 --> 00:29:03,250 Fuckin' hell! 565 00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:05,250 Was that the mannequin? 566 00:29:06,890 --> 00:29:08,250 Was that a high-five? 567 00:29:16,330 --> 00:29:18,530 I thought I had a good idea here. 568 00:29:18,570 --> 00:29:20,610 Where are the bells? 569 00:29:22,530 --> 00:29:23,690 Oh, God! 570 00:29:26,170 --> 00:29:30,170 Oh. I think it goes without saying that I don't really know where I am. 571 00:29:30,210 --> 00:29:31,890 Where do you think you are? 572 00:29:31,930 --> 00:29:35,850 I'd like to think that the parking bay is there. 573 00:29:35,890 --> 00:29:37,930 All right. 574 00:29:37,970 --> 00:29:40,690 Have you got a plan B, Paul? Erm... 575 00:29:40,730 --> 00:29:42,250 Careful. Brilliant. 576 00:29:48,290 --> 00:29:50,010 It's not as big as I thought it was. 577 00:29:50,050 --> 00:29:52,810 What are you looking for at the moment, Paul? The bike again. 578 00:29:52,850 --> 00:29:54,010 {\an1}ALEX LAUGHS 579 00:29:54,050 --> 00:29:55,570 Lost the bike again... 580 00:29:57,930 --> 00:29:58,930 OK. 581 00:30:10,210 --> 00:30:12,410 I'm going to park it now. 582 00:30:12,450 --> 00:30:14,050 Careful, Paul! 583 00:30:14,090 --> 00:30:15,370 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 584 00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:22,850 I was nearly there. 585 00:30:22,890 --> 00:30:24,730 Yeah. 586 00:30:24,770 --> 00:30:27,330 I could be anywhere. BELLS JINGLE 587 00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:32,250 I've stopped now, I've finished the journey. 588 00:30:32,290 --> 00:30:34,250 Oh, it's not too bad. 589 00:30:36,050 --> 00:30:38,450 {\an1}APPLAUSE 590 00:30:39,650 --> 00:30:42,290 Can I ask what the strategy was with leaving the buggy? 591 00:30:42,330 --> 00:30:45,770 My first mistake was thinking that I was competent enough 592 00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:49,050 to drive somewhere near the bells, get out of the thing, 593 00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:51,890 walk out and knock the bells off with my own hands. 594 00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:55,570 But somehow or other, I just fucked it up from the word go. 595 00:30:55,610 --> 00:30:59,090 Well, we all enjoyed watching him walk around a space. 596 00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:02,410 And I was thinking, "He's not going to remember where that buggy is!" 597 00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:04,410 Delightful. Well, he found it 598 00:31:04,450 --> 00:31:07,690 but, unfortunately, tried to get on the front instead... 599 00:31:07,730 --> 00:31:09,170 {\an1}LAUGHTER 600 00:31:09,210 --> 00:31:11,570 And, Joe, I thought you would employ a more logical system, 601 00:31:11,610 --> 00:31:14,010 rather than just, "OK, I think I've got the measure of this, 602 00:31:14,050 --> 00:31:15,730 "let's drive." 603 00:31:15,770 --> 00:31:18,170 You went full speed. You had your hazards on. 604 00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,850 Hazards on. My thinking was, if you put your hazards on, 605 00:31:20,890 --> 00:31:23,370 you can do literally whatever you want. 606 00:31:23,410 --> 00:31:26,330 You did say afterwards, "That was bloody brilliant." 607 00:31:26,370 --> 00:31:27,930 It was. It was good. 608 00:31:27,970 --> 00:31:29,890 Here it is. The last break of the series. 609 00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,610 Alex, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise. 610 00:31:32,650 --> 00:31:34,850 Because, just before the show record, 611 00:31:34,890 --> 00:31:37,130 I genuinely cut your trousers in half. 612 00:31:39,050 --> 00:31:40,810 Now, I know you think this was a joke. 613 00:31:40,850 --> 00:31:42,090 I went into your dressing room 614 00:31:42,130 --> 00:31:44,810 and I got your trousers that you're wearing to the party tonight 615 00:31:44,850 --> 00:31:46,850 and I cut them in half with a big pair of scissors! 616 00:31:49,330 --> 00:31:51,090 {\an1}APPLAUSE 617 00:31:53,130 --> 00:31:55,690 I think it's the best thing I've ever done. Yeah. 618 00:31:55,730 --> 00:31:57,530 Yeah, I can see that. 619 00:31:57,570 --> 00:32:00,250 Ah! They are my actual trousers, so... 620 00:32:00,290 --> 00:32:01,570 Here's a break. OK. 621 00:32:01,610 --> 00:32:03,530 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 622 00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:15,450 {\an1}APPLAUSE 623 00:32:15,490 --> 00:32:17,570 Hello. Welcome back. 624 00:32:17,610 --> 00:32:20,010 Here we are, then - the final part of the series. 625 00:32:20,050 --> 00:32:21,690 I can't quite believe it, can you, Alex? 626 00:32:21,730 --> 00:32:25,410 Yes, I can. But there's still a task to finish, Greg. 627 00:32:25,450 --> 00:32:27,130 They've been parking a buggy badly 628 00:32:27,170 --> 00:32:31,410 and, lastly, we're going to see Iain, Sian and Lou. 629 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:34,850 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. 630 00:32:34,890 --> 00:32:36,570 Stop. 631 00:32:36,610 --> 00:32:38,210 Jingle. 632 00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:40,690 One elephant, two elephants, 633 00:32:40,730 --> 00:32:42,050 three elephants. 634 00:32:44,650 --> 00:32:46,690 Oh, I forgot my number counting now. 635 00:32:47,850 --> 00:32:51,370 OK, so if you stand by the parking lot emitting a noise. 636 00:32:51,410 --> 00:32:54,290 Shall I blow the whistle every 5-7 seconds? 637 00:32:54,330 --> 00:32:55,810 1, 2, 3, 638 00:32:55,850 --> 00:32:58,410 4, 5, 7, 8, 9. 639 00:33:03,370 --> 00:33:05,210 10, 11, 12. 640 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:08,290 They're all 12cm apart. 641 00:33:08,330 --> 00:33:10,170 Can I go and get a big stick? 642 00:33:10,210 --> 00:33:11,650 Do whatever you want. 643 00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:16,130 {\an1}SHE WHIMPERS 644 00:33:21,010 --> 00:33:23,290 IAIN: One elephant, two elephant, 645 00:33:23,330 --> 00:33:24,450 three elephant. 646 00:33:25,530 --> 00:33:26,770 Hello? 647 00:33:28,410 --> 00:33:29,930 But it was three... 648 00:33:29,970 --> 00:33:32,170 It WAS three elephants! 649 00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:35,610 I...just...keep...walking... 650 00:33:37,690 --> 00:33:40,890 What's that? That's a camera. 651 00:33:44,850 --> 00:33:47,050 Oh, I shouldn't have got out of the truck. 652 00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:50,290 11, 12. 653 00:33:51,850 --> 00:33:54,010 {\an1}BELLS JINGLE 654 00:33:54,050 --> 00:33:56,370 {\an1}APPLAUSE 655 00:34:09,170 --> 00:34:11,850 {\an1}It's all right. I high-fived it! 656 00:34:11,890 --> 00:34:13,170 OK. 657 00:34:13,210 --> 00:34:15,330 14, 15. 658 00:34:17,690 --> 00:34:18,930 Oh. 659 00:34:20,170 --> 00:34:21,690 Yes! Come on! 660 00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:24,930 Get off. 661 00:34:24,970 --> 00:34:26,530 Careful! 662 00:34:26,570 --> 00:34:27,650 Ooh! 663 00:34:27,690 --> 00:34:28,770 Ooh! Ah. 664 00:34:28,810 --> 00:34:30,930 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS BREATHLESSLY 665 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:38,170 High five! 666 00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:39,890 Am I the wrong side? 667 00:34:39,930 --> 00:34:42,050 This is terrible. 668 00:34:43,130 --> 00:34:44,930 Ooh. High five. 669 00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:48,010 Oh, don't do this again. 670 00:34:48,050 --> 00:34:49,610 Oh, no. 671 00:34:51,530 --> 00:34:53,490 {\an1}BELLS JINGLE 672 00:35:07,210 --> 00:35:08,850 Yes! 673 00:35:08,890 --> 00:35:10,970 {\an1}APPLAUSE 674 00:35:11,010 --> 00:35:14,010 9, 10, 11. 675 00:35:15,570 --> 00:35:17,570 I'm in! 676 00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:20,770 'I'll just not worry about the other bells, OK? OK. 677 00:35:20,810 --> 00:35:23,370 'OK, so what's that, then? 678 00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:26,130 'So I think I'm just going to back out here. 679 00:35:26,170 --> 00:35:27,450 'Ooh! 680 00:35:27,490 --> 00:35:29,370 {\an4}APPLAUSE 681 00:35:32,570 --> 00:35:34,330 'Absolute carnage. 682 00:35:34,370 --> 00:35:36,650 'But also getting me to whistle in the parking bay 683 00:35:36,690 --> 00:35:38,930 'did mean she got to the parking bay eventually. 684 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:41,730 'Oh, OK. She did create some system. There was a system. 685 00:35:41,770 --> 00:35:44,490 'That's good, cos I'd hate for you to damage the truck! 686 00:35:46,370 --> 00:35:48,530 I think the thing that's worth mentioning 687 00:35:48,570 --> 00:35:50,650 is that no-one else took over 10 minutes. 688 00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,850 She took half an hour. 689 00:35:53,490 --> 00:35:56,330 Because I wanted to get it right! Yeah. The elephant system. 690 00:35:56,370 --> 00:35:58,130 You were very passionate about it. 691 00:35:58,170 --> 00:36:01,370 Elephants. I've seen people say "elephants" before. 692 00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:04,450 I've seen people say "elephants" before. Yeah, couple of times. 693 00:36:04,490 --> 00:36:05,930 We went to that thing, didn't we? 694 00:36:05,970 --> 00:36:08,530 Yeah, the old... Elephant conference. Yeah. Yeah. 695 00:36:08,570 --> 00:36:10,890 Sian, what was your system? 696 00:36:10,930 --> 00:36:14,530 Erm, counting in centimetres! 697 00:36:14,570 --> 00:36:17,810 And I was amazed to find out that they were all 12cm apart. 698 00:36:17,850 --> 00:36:21,450 I know! It looks different. It does look different. 699 00:36:21,490 --> 00:36:23,930 And we can see some lovely interpretive dance as well. 700 00:36:23,970 --> 00:36:26,690 {\an1}THEY LAUGH 701 00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:30,170 Well, I don't need to hand out points, do I? No, not yet. 702 00:36:30,210 --> 00:36:33,090 I'm going to show you the graphics of how accurate their journey is 703 00:36:33,130 --> 00:36:34,570 and that shout speak for itself. 704 00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:36,450 I've plotted Joe's journey first, 705 00:36:36,490 --> 00:36:37,650 so he went a bit like this... 706 00:36:37,690 --> 00:36:40,130 You see bottom-left, he's aiming for the bottom-right. 707 00:36:40,170 --> 00:36:41,450 Started well. 708 00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:46,210 There's some good and bad there. 709 00:36:46,250 --> 00:36:48,210 I've drawn a penis there. 710 00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:51,130 Ending with that? 711 00:36:53,130 --> 00:36:54,210 Paul next. 712 00:36:54,250 --> 00:36:57,290 I've made the line solid when he abandoned the truck. 713 00:36:59,730 --> 00:37:01,330 Back in. 714 00:37:01,370 --> 00:37:02,810 Back out. 715 00:37:02,850 --> 00:37:04,330 And he's off. 716 00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:07,930 {\an1}APPLAUSE 717 00:37:07,970 --> 00:37:10,650 Iain next. I think you'll be quite impressed by Iain's journey. 718 00:37:10,690 --> 00:37:12,650 Pretty smooth. 719 00:37:12,690 --> 00:37:14,610 Look at that. Wow. 720 00:37:14,650 --> 00:37:16,090 Textbook stuff. 721 00:37:16,130 --> 00:37:18,450 Oh, lovely! 722 00:37:18,490 --> 00:37:20,610 APPLAUSE Lovely! 723 00:37:20,650 --> 00:37:24,770 Sian's wasn't dissimilar but, again, she abandoned the truck 724 00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:26,930 and that's where it got less accurate. 725 00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:33,370 Good ending, though, good ending. Not bad. 726 00:37:33,410 --> 00:37:35,090 Lou. Yeah, finally. 727 00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:37,050 All 30 minutes of Lou's journey. 728 00:37:39,650 --> 00:37:42,730 {\an1}LAUGHTER 729 00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:48,570 {\an1}LAUGHTER 730 00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,410 Ooh. There we go. 731 00:37:50,450 --> 00:37:52,850 {\an1}APPLAUSE 732 00:37:54,850 --> 00:37:55,970 Who was best? 733 00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:58,850 Oh, Iain Stirling definitely was the best - he gets 5 points. 5 points! 734 00:38:00,530 --> 00:38:03,610 Presumably Sian's is the next-best? Sian, definitely - 4. 4 points. 735 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:06,290 Yep. And then 3, 2, 1. 736 00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:09,410 Joe, Paul, Lou. Joe, Paul. Lou was definitely the least accurate. 737 00:38:09,450 --> 00:38:11,370 So 3 points, 2 points. 1 point to Lou. 738 00:38:11,410 --> 00:38:14,090 OK, everyone, it saddens me to ask this, 739 00:38:14,130 --> 00:38:17,650 but could you please make your way to the stage 740 00:38:17,690 --> 00:38:20,210 for the final task of the series! 741 00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:23,730 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 742 00:38:28,370 --> 00:38:30,290 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 743 00:38:30,330 --> 00:38:33,410 Hi, lovely ponytail-boy. Hi, ponytail-man. 744 00:38:33,450 --> 00:38:35,890 Who's going to read the final task of the series out? 745 00:38:35,930 --> 00:38:37,050 Lou Sanders. 746 00:38:37,090 --> 00:38:38,090 OK. 747 00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:40,770 Yep. Right way up. 748 00:38:40,810 --> 00:38:42,850 "Correctly wearing these goggles, 749 00:38:42,890 --> 00:38:45,930 "and with your eyes open at all times, retrieve your duck. 750 00:38:45,970 --> 00:38:48,770 "You must stand on your spot and hold the stick by the handle. 751 00:38:48,810 --> 00:38:51,530 "You must stay standing on your spot throughout the task. 752 00:38:51,570 --> 00:38:55,570 "Fastest to hold their duck in their hands above their head" - oh, yeah - 753 00:38:55,610 --> 00:38:57,010 "wins. 754 00:38:57,050 --> 00:38:59,250 "You have a maximum of three minutes." 755 00:38:59,290 --> 00:39:01,690 This doesn't seem very hard. I wonder what those goggles do. 756 00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:03,370 I'm not going to tell you that. OK. 757 00:39:03,410 --> 00:39:06,370 When I blow the whistle, place your goggles over your eyes 758 00:39:06,410 --> 00:39:07,770 and retrieve your ducks. 759 00:39:09,570 --> 00:39:11,770 Jesus Christ! 760 00:39:11,810 --> 00:39:13,890 It turns everything upside-down. Whoops! 761 00:39:13,930 --> 00:39:15,410 Oh, that is horrible. 762 00:39:20,370 --> 00:39:22,610 Lou, you must stay on your spot. 763 00:39:22,650 --> 00:39:25,170 {\an8}I'm on my spot, aren't I? Well, some of you's on the spot. 764 00:39:25,210 --> 00:39:26,730 OK. How's it going, Sian? 765 00:39:26,770 --> 00:39:27,930 I feel... 766 00:39:27,970 --> 00:39:29,410 'AUDIENCE: Aw! 767 00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:30,850 {\an8}Oh, it might be all right. 768 00:39:30,890 --> 00:39:33,810 {\an8}Fuck off! Fuck off! FUCK OFF! 769 00:39:33,850 --> 00:39:35,570 Come on, Joe. 770 00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:39,610 'That is not your duck, Lou! 771 00:39:41,410 --> 00:39:42,930 Come on, Joe. 772 00:39:44,010 --> 00:39:45,370 That's it. Oh! 773 00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:49,410 {\an3}It could be Paul! 774 00:39:49,450 --> 00:39:50,690 {\an3}Only Paul's is remaining! 775 00:39:50,730 --> 00:39:52,010 No! 776 00:39:52,050 --> 00:39:53,730 {\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS 777 00:39:53,770 --> 00:39:57,370 {\an8}OK. Stay on your spot, stay on your spots! 778 00:39:57,410 --> 00:40:00,090 {\an8}Ah, my bum! Yes, I've covered that up. 779 00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:02,130 {\an8}Do you have to catch it with the hook? 780 00:40:02,170 --> 00:40:03,690 {\an8}No, do whatever you want, Paul. Oh! 781 00:40:03,730 --> 00:40:05,730 {\an1}CHEERING 782 00:40:12,930 --> 00:40:14,730 {\an1}CHEERING 783 00:40:16,010 --> 00:40:17,410 {\an1}APPLAUSE 784 00:40:21,490 --> 00:40:23,050 AUDIENCE: Aw! 785 00:40:29,930 --> 00:40:31,850 {\an1}HE BLOWS WHISTLE 786 00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:33,930 AUDIENCE: Aw! 787 00:40:33,970 --> 00:40:35,530 I put it on my head! 788 00:40:35,570 --> 00:40:37,930 I put that duck on my head! 789 00:40:37,970 --> 00:40:40,370 You may take off your goggles. 790 00:40:40,410 --> 00:40:44,010 'Paul, you're the only one not sitting on the floor now, for some reason. 791 00:40:44,050 --> 00:40:46,170 But you don't have to sit on the floor, no-one ever... 792 00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:49,010 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Good. 793 00:40:49,050 --> 00:40:52,010 Come down and we'll add that to the final scores! 794 00:40:52,050 --> 00:40:55,450 {\an1}APPLAUSE 795 00:40:58,490 --> 00:41:00,570 Messy old business, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. 796 00:41:00,610 --> 00:41:05,210 Three of the contestants did not retrieve the duck within the time. 797 00:41:05,250 --> 00:41:06,930 So we can safely say 0 points. 798 00:41:06,970 --> 00:41:08,410 I'm afraid so, to those three. 799 00:41:08,450 --> 00:41:12,090 And that is to Lou, Paul and to Sian. Whoo! 800 00:41:12,130 --> 00:41:14,650 And I'm very sorry to say... 801 00:41:14,690 --> 00:41:17,530 Iain got Joe's duck and Joe got Iain's duck. 802 00:41:17,570 --> 00:41:19,650 Oh! 803 00:41:19,690 --> 00:41:22,130 And I want you to greet this with a huge round of applause, 804 00:41:22,170 --> 00:41:25,650 because I do think it's sort of in keeping with the entire programme, 805 00:41:25,690 --> 00:41:30,290 that in the final task of Series Eight of Taskmaster, 806 00:41:30,330 --> 00:41:32,810 every single contestant has scored... 807 00:41:32,850 --> 00:41:34,330 no points! 808 00:41:34,370 --> 00:41:37,890 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 809 00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:41,850 I don't believe it! 810 00:41:41,890 --> 00:41:43,570 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 811 00:41:43,610 --> 00:41:46,250 It does mean, though, that there is a clear and outright winner, 812 00:41:46,290 --> 00:41:49,690 5 points ahead of the rest, that is Mr Iain Stirling! 813 00:41:49,730 --> 00:41:52,890 Iain Stirling! 814 00:41:52,930 --> 00:41:54,930 Iain Stirling wins! 815 00:41:54,970 --> 00:41:56,610 Please go and bag the things 816 00:41:56,650 --> 00:41:58,930 that are going to make your life better. 817 00:41:58,970 --> 00:42:00,170 Iain Stirling! 818 00:42:00,210 --> 00:42:02,690 {\an1}APPLAUSE 819 00:42:15,530 --> 00:42:17,610 It's trophy time. 820 00:42:17,650 --> 00:42:20,410 {\an1}WHOOPING AND CHEERING 821 00:42:20,450 --> 00:42:22,930 Little Alex Horne... 822 00:42:22,970 --> 00:42:24,290 ..please... 823 00:42:24,330 --> 00:42:25,970 reveal the final results. 824 00:42:26,010 --> 00:42:27,930 HE WHISPERS: I think you're beautiful. 825 00:42:31,770 --> 00:42:32,970 I am. 826 00:42:33,010 --> 00:42:34,410 {\an1}LAUGHTER 827 00:42:36,010 --> 00:42:38,890 Paul ended up on 136 points. 828 00:42:38,930 --> 00:42:41,810 In fifth place, Paul Sinha. 829 00:42:41,850 --> 00:42:44,290 Just above him, on 143 - 830 00:42:44,330 --> 00:42:46,290 7 points above - was Sian Gibson! 831 00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:48,410 {\an1}APPLAUSE 832 00:42:48,450 --> 00:42:51,650 And up we go again, 7 points higher, with 150, 833 00:42:51,690 --> 00:42:52,930 Joe Thomas. 834 00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,890 Thank you. CHEERING 835 00:42:54,930 --> 00:42:57,410 And here we go, with 156 points, 836 00:42:57,450 --> 00:42:59,130 in second place... 837 00:42:59,170 --> 00:43:00,650 Mr Iain Stirling! 838 00:43:00,690 --> 00:43:03,250 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 839 00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:04,890 Which means... 840 00:43:04,930 --> 00:43:07,290 with 164 points, 841 00:43:07,330 --> 00:43:09,090 the winner was Lou Sanders! 842 00:43:09,130 --> 00:43:12,650 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 843 00:43:12,690 --> 00:43:15,290 There it is, your Series Eight Taskmaster champion - 844 00:43:15,330 --> 00:43:17,250 Lou Sanders! 845 00:43:17,290 --> 00:43:19,970 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 846 00:43:20,010 --> 00:43:22,530 Thank you. Mwah. Thank you. 847 00:43:25,090 --> 00:43:28,410 Thank you, everyone, for watching, thank you to our colossal cast, 848 00:43:28,450 --> 00:43:30,610 and the smallest hint of appreciation 849 00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:32,690 to little Alex Horne! 850 00:43:32,730 --> 00:43:34,290 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 851 00:43:34,330 --> 00:43:35,970 Mainly, though, well done again 852 00:43:36,010 --> 00:43:39,690 to our Series Eight champion, Lou Sanders! 853 00:43:39,730 --> 00:43:42,690 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 854 00:43:42,730 --> 00:43:46,130 Who will be the next champion? 855 00:43:46,170 --> 00:43:48,730 See you next time to find out. Bye-bye! 856 00:43:48,770 --> 00:43:51,290 {\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 857 00:43:55,090 --> 00:43:59,410 Subtitles by Red Bee Media